fourteen years ago (approximately) this super cute guy asked me to the movies and i said yes. and on the way to see the movie he leaned over and kissed me at a red light in his H2. we stayed friends through high school and eventually both fled new york for college + culture.
somewhere in between, we both had serious relationships, ones we both kind of knew were not 'it.' and although we hadn't spoken or seen each other in a decade, we were friends through social media.
one night i was having dinner at a resturaunt in a neighboring town, and he happened to be doing the same. he invited me to his boat for a drink that was just below the resturaunt and we again, went our separate ways but stayed in touch.
a year or so later he asked me to come meet him at the same place, a resturaunt called Patsy's, and said a bunch of his friends were going to come down to the boat after to hangout. i was killing myself going back to school, working full time and trying to switch jobs and needed a fun night out. little did i know he was actually asking me out. i ended up being the only girl there...
i was still in the middle of figuring my life out then; i hadn't really dated much, and didn't care for a relationship. i was finally happy with so much that i didn't want to complicate things. so like i said we kind of went our separate ways again, until he asked me if i would walk his dog one evening since he was away on a family vacation. of course i said yes, even though i had never met his dog. & i ended up meeting his grandmother who answered the door...
according to him, that was my first 'test' and apparently i 'passed' as he says... (eye roll)
so we were in touch and we talked / texted. he was definitely persistent... when he got back from vacation he asked if i wanted to get tacos one night and we went on our first 'date' at Taco Project. i told him i wasn't interested in anything serious and he agreed... or so he said to me then. we spent time together here and there. he moved to NJ and i saw him on my days off. then he went to Miami for a long weekend and when he got back, he decided to talk with me 'seriously' about a relationship. he went to Miami and said all he could think about was what i was up to, and wishing i could have come with him to Art Basel and how i would love it and we had to go next year together...
i'm really uncomfortable when i'm on the spot, i basically stuttered through the whole conversation.
at some point after that night i thought about what i had learned: from past relationships, from my experiences, and from myself. i refused to settle for anyone. i wanted someone i vibed with, who loved animals as much as i do, who loved to travel, has a kind heart, a good sense of humor, who has good friends and a big family. i dated around, was extremely unimpressed with most of the men i had gone out with, breaking any contact with most of them immediately... so what was my problem with Rob? his family was great, he was easy to talk to, we got along really well, had a lot of the same interests and i really liked his friends. my friends told me i was being stupid and to 'give the kid a chance.'
i mean really what is the logical thing to do here? when a guy tells you after casually dating that he wants an exclusive relationship... well naturally you book a flight to Hawaii together to see if you can stand each other for twelve days straight. this is a perfect place for a face-palm emoji.
and the rest is history....
so basically a couple small by-chance encounters led to a friendly relationship, then a more serious relationship as we went on more dates and eventually to: an apartment, a puppy, two hawaii trips, a nashville trip, an almost move to san diego, spontaneous drive into mexico, many upstate trips, a hospital trip, a couple fucked up moments and even more good times, a whole bunch of weddings... and that's all in just the first year.
it's all timing... we both left, we both came back, we both learned from our past relationships, and took our time to get to know the person we each had become over the past 14 years.
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